This is my all time favorite quote on the subject of parenting a Special Needs child. It was written by Erma Bomback who was a very funny comedian who died quite young from Poly Cystic Kidney disease. Every time I read this I just want to cry for 10-20 minutes. Please excuse the none politically correct references because this was written during the 70's-80's when this was the language dujour.
SPECIAL MOM by Erma Bombeck (Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen?) Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong,Beth-Son-Patron Saint, Matthew." "Rutledge, Carrie,-twins-PatronSaint...Give her Gerard, he's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. " Give her a handicapped child." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She is so happy." "Exactly, could I give a handicapped child a mother who doesn't know laughter? That would be cruel." "But does she have patience?" asked the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she will handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self, and independence, so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world, and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you!" God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect, she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps. "Selfishness, is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blindchild, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty,prejudice-- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing My work as surely as she is here by My side." "And what of her Patron Saint?" asked the angel, his pen poised inmidair. God smiles. " A Mirror will suffice."
SPECIAL MOM by Erma Bombeck (Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen?) Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong,Beth-Son-Patron Saint, Matthew." "Rutledge, Carrie,-twins-PatronSaint...Give her Gerard, he's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. " Give her a handicapped child." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She is so happy." "Exactly, could I give a handicapped child a mother who doesn't know laughter? That would be cruel." "But does she have patience?" asked the angel. "I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she will handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self, and independence, so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world, and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you!" God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect, she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps. "Selfishness, is that a virtue?" God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be witness to a miracle and know it. When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blindchild, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty,prejudice-- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing My work as surely as she is here by My side." "And what of her Patron Saint?" asked the angel, his pen poised inmidair. God smiles. " A Mirror will suffice."
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1 comment:
I still cry, too. And I've carrying that article around with me for some time... thank you.
We can never, ever forget Erma and this connection she had to all of us.
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